I Want A Pony

“A back scratcher? I ask for a DVD and I get a fucking back scratcher? Those guys got a PS 3 and a Ferrari and I can’t even get a lousy movie? What the fuck? I’m going to scratch my fucking nuts with this!” He was waving the bamboo device in the air like an antelope femur so I could see.

I looked up at John and smirked. “Well, it’s the thought that counts.”

“Yeah, well, I think about my nuts being scratched with this.”

“You could get a splinter,” I offered, not really believing that I was having this conversation.

“No, it has this smooth roll-y thing on the other end. It’ll probably feel pretty good.”

“Too much information,” I replied as I got up to get a cup of coffee and go out for a cigarette leaving him muttering to himself. Life in the headquarters office was a lot of things, including dull, but there was always the redeeming quality of the surreal at random intervals.

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A Question of Books, Keith Ellison, and Principle

Recently, I was sent a link to a page at Townhall.com::America, Not Keith Ellison, decides what book a congressman takes his oath on::By Dennis Prager, which is a commentary on newly elected Congressman Keith Ellison from Minnesota allegedly stating that he won’t use the Bible, but instead the Koran, for the swearing in ceremony.And good for him. No, I won’t support some email campaign to pass a law saying that the Bible must be used. That is a slippery slope, irrespective of the examples that Dennis Prager cites. According to Prager, this opens the door to all sorts of faiths “requiring” their holy cannons used.

And?

Okay, Tom Cruise wants a copy of Dianetics. And? I don’t see the point why that is so distasteful. So none of the multiple atheists, Jews, Mormons, or whomever asked for their copies of their cannons, according to Prager. Even if true, that doesn’t mean that it is right for everyone. Their decision to comply with the prevailing tradition that conflicts with personal beliefs is between them and The Eternal. I don’t think that I would have made the same decision, but, again, that is a personal decision on how I reconcile getting to sleep at night.

Prager is right to point out that the majority culture, or at least history and tradition, is Christian. Thus, the cultural affinity for using the KJV Bible for important things, like taking office, swearing legal oaths, and the like. But to make it a law, that is different. That puts minority faiths outside the law, and if I decide that following my principles of faith are important to me, I am now criminal.

But, ultimately, the argument for enshrining the KJV is undercut by the fact that it is not used in the swearing in ceremony for Representatives. Nor, is it a requirement for the President, since none other than Teddy Roosevelt failed to have a Bible of any version at his swearing in ceremony.

Just at it is wrong in my opinion to completely exclude the majority tradition with the forced removal of Nativity scenes and sculptures of the Ten Commandments, it is just a wrong to enshrine it with legal authority. The American culture that has been the haven for countless numbers of harassed, oppressed, huddled masses has been one of open tolerance, one that is permissive of individual quirks and differences. You are allowed to say no to the government, without worrying that you will wake up dead or that your family will vanish overnight with no one knowing anything or vague references to a nine millimeter retirement plan.

That is true tolerance, not the Diversity doublespeak illogic that is put out constantly in popular culture.