My wife is the best. She got me some clothes that are really nice and totally rock. I’m still wearing one of the jackets. And I haven’t sprinkled it with coffee yet.

She also got me a book I wanted, Lure the Tiger Out of the Mountains. I read the first strategy, Cross the sea and fool the sky. No idea where the name comes from, but the premise is that, like the chinese proverb, “A familiar sight provokes no attention.”

Indeed. I am reminded of the stunt that the kids pulled on my return from the weekend activities. I came in hurt, limping, tired, and generally stinky. Wife and I figured “fend for yourself” night for dinner.

About 15 minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I looked out and saw a pizza delivery man there. Huh? I looked at Wife, she at me, and we both said “I didn’t order pizza.” Down the stairs comes the Littlest Who In Whoseville For The Moment going “It’s for us.”

Sure. Wishful thinking, kid.

I opened the door, and asked if he was delivering to our address. Yes, he replies. There was a pause as I stared at the delivery guy for a few seconds like he had three heads. Didn’t he know that we didn’t order anything and he had the wrong address? Then the light bulb went off. I whipped around and yelled for The Oldest.

“Pizza’s here!” came the chorus in stereo from Number 1 and Number 2. Down the stairs came two kids with twenty bucks. In a flash, Number 3 grabbed the pizza, Number 2 paid the man, Oldest said keep the change, and the delivery guy laughed his ass off. I never knew what hit me.

The thing is, they had trouped through not five minutes before. Of course making noise and bickering, but not too much noise. Into the kitchen and back out. Making noise, but not too much noise. Just enough for us parents to want to not be involved, but not enough for Wife and I to have to intervene. Familiar without drawing too much attention.

Clever bastards.

I am so glad I have this book. I might learn enough to get out of this alive. Or at least have half a chance.

Sure. Wishful thinking kid.