The radio hums to life as the CP calls us. “Gun Truck Two, we need you to come back so the NCOIC can unleash the goat.” We all look at the radio with puzzled looks on our faces. “What?”

“The NCOIC needs to release a goat. He needs an escort over the wire.”

“What kind of goat is this?”

“A bah, bah, black sheep kind.”

“This isn’t another kind of goat is it? Because that’s three kicks and that isn’t cool.”

We go back in to the base and I look in the NCOIC’s Hummer; no goat. “Where’s the goat?”

“In the trunk.” He pops the trunk a little and a goat head looks out. “Baaaahhh,” it bleats. I snap a picture.

The local herder slowly and sheepishly comes up along the canal looking for his goat. He goes on and on to the interpreter about how his goat wandered off. It’s not his fault, since he told the goat not to do that. Some goats just don’t listen. Please, is there anything that we can do to help him and it really isn’t his fault. He doesn’t want any trouble, just his goat back.

We pop open the trunk of the Hummer. “Surprise! Look what we found!”

“Baaaahhh.”

The herder lifts the goat out of the trunk, all smiles. He then walks back along the canal, holding the goat by the scruff of the neck and the hindquarter, kicking and kneeing the beast the whole way to his herd. A woman with him, presumably his wife, stands across the canal, passively taking in the whole scene.

I turn to the NCOIC. “I want goat herder to be on my next NCO evaluation report.” He laughs.

“You know”, I continue, “that goat made a mess in the back of the truck. It’s going to stink for days. There is goat shit everywhere.”

“It’s the gravel yard truck. You didn’t think that I would use my truck, did you?”

On the way back to the road, we report to the CP that Goat Truck Two is now set in position. “Goat herding makes the day go so much faster,” I comment.

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